Ok, just going to have to shit out articles like a machine to keep this issue at the front of my mind. That’s a good idea.

Why have you still not fully quit porn after all of this

The mega mega bad feels were when I was using porn every single day for years. Now it’s more like I use it every three to four days.

I used it again like 12 hours ago at this point. I feel sweatier, my motor controls are worse, I interact with other people worse, it’s horrible. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Did I enjoy my session that much earlier? No way, especially compared to the damage it has done to the rest of my day today.

It’s something like the effects aren’t as bad as they could be if I was using it every day. Anyway…

New blog post every two days

Basically, just have to keep this on my mind as something I am actively doing until the conditioning wears off. The hypersensitisation I have brought back to my brain.

The problem is I just fall into old habits too easily. I don’t know.

Perhaps I just have to undo the conditioning super hardcore or something. So I’m going to write some weird borderline autistic blog post about why porn is bad for me every two days. Going to move to a never using it posture this way.

Just to keep going, not to give up. Keep it at the forefront of my mind.

Maybe I will make articles on a longer interval once I reach 90 days. But ultimately, this shit must remain on my mind for as long as it takes, so I remain committed to fully beating the pants off of it once and for all.

See the other side of life

Why am I doing any of this in the first place?

It’s to exit the matrix. There’s an amazing other side to life and existence I have never seen. The only way to get there is to thoroughly purge my brain of substance abuse, like what porn is doing to me.

Once I am used to my new porn-free life, and my brain is throughly purged and the porn-related adaptations are gone, I will be permanently happier.

I just can’t let the habits of the past triumph over the best version of myself that I’m trying to craft.